Monday, October 11, 2010

Han solo's quotes part.1

1. “I love you.”

“I know.”

When to say it: Duh

If you use this line at least once in your lifetime, you can die a happy man. It is the epitome of everything Han Solo stands for: cocky and bad-ass, yet sincere. It’s rumored that George Lucas (though he didn’t direct Empire Strikes Back, or even write its screenplay) wanted Han to tell Leia that he “loved her too,” but Harrison Ford demanded that the current version of the line we all adore so very much. Solo’s final line to Leia before getting his shit carbonite-frozen is, bar-none, the greatest moment in the entire Star Wars saga.

Not to mention that if you use this line on a woman who is legitimately expressing love for you, it will drive her nuts. If there’s one thing women love – other than musicians – it’s having strong feelings for someone who doesn’t reciprocate them (especially if the person in question is a musician). If you respond to “I love you” with “I love you, too,” you’re essentially begging the woman to lose interest in you. Making an arrogant, not-quite reciprocation of that love that hints at possible affection without outright stating it is the most intelligent thing you can possibly do; it keeps the mystery up, it keeps you in control and you keep your dignity intact.

Han Solo knows this. That’s why he’s Han Solo.

2. “Hey…it’s me!” When to say it: When someone tells you to “be careful” Who are they to doubt you? Hey, it’s you! If you weren’t the careful, clever guy you were, you’d be dead by now. You don’t need expressions of worry – you’re too cool for that. Admittedly, right after Han says this in ROTJ he steps on a twig and alerts every stormtrooper in the vicinity to his presence, but ignore that for now.

3. “I’ve seen a lot of strange stuff, but I’ve never seen anything to make me believe there’s one all-powerful force controlling everything. There’s no mystical energy field controls my destiny.”

When to say it: During a debate on religion

It doesn’t matter if you actually believe in God; you have to use this quote in a debate on religion. It’s specific and useful enough to not necessarily seem like aStar Wars quote, and it’s got just the right amount of pseudo-philosophy and world-weary ranting to make you seem infinitely cooler than the other person in the debate. Yeah, you’ve been around. You’ve seen the world. You know what it has to offer. And, you know what? None of it impresses you. You are in charge of your life. God? Psh. Who needs him? Granted, after the debate is done you may need to go home and pray for twenty straight minutes as a method of apologizing to your deity of choice, but the important thing is that, to the guy you argued against, you look like a total bad-ass who remains completely unafraid of Jehovah’s wrath.

4. “How we doin’?”

“Same as always.”

“That bad, huh?”

When to say it: When asking someone about their day

Ah, world-weariness. The idea that you’ve seen everything, done everything and had sex with everything, and yet you still consider life to be generally disappointing and awful. When using a quote like this, people will wonder whyyou’re so world-weary, and, if you don’t tell them, you’ll seem to have some sort of dark and mysterious past that you never talk about, despite the reality that you spent most of your childhood eating Cheetos and watching Thundercats. Is there a more wonderfully cynical, yet strangely attractive worldview to have? I think not.

5. “Wonderful girl. Either I’m going to kill her, or I’m beginning to like her.”

When to say it: When talking about a woman you’re attracted to

It’s okay to show attraction to a woman, but not unqualified attraction. It’s okay to show that you would very much like to date a girl you’ve just met, but only so long as you remember to state that you don’t really like her that much. Guys who show unqualified attraction to potential mates usually end up as the schmoes who get screwed over when push comes to shove (“push,” in this case, being a synonym for “woman,” while “shove” is a synonym for “musician”). Not to mention that if the girl hears you use this line, her curiosity will be piqued: why does he like me? Why does he want to kill me? Such curiosity will lead her to talk to you more frequently in a teasing attempt to get you to reveal what you reallythink about her.

(taken from

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