Monday, October 11, 2010

Han solo's quotes part.2

6. “Laugh it up, fuzzball.”

When to say it: When a fat/hairy person laughs at you

Again: not outright whiny and confrontational, but this line lets everyone know that you mean business and that you’re tired of their crap. Nobody would dare ignore an insult as unconventional-yet-harsh as “fuzzball,” but they also wouldn’t start a fight over it.


7. “What an incredible smell you’ve discovered!”

When to say it: Anytime you smell something awful

When showing disgust, one has to show repulsion and righteous indignation without seeming like a complete and utter pansy, which is where this quote comes into play. Han is obviously not happy that Leia convinced him to jump down a garbage chute, but at the same time, he’s not running around, whining and crying over the fact that he’s knee-deep in human fecal matter. The “incredible smell” line serves as the perfect balance of arrogant irritation and bad-ass indifference to use when someone lets out a particularly gruesome fart.


8. “You know, sometimes I amaze even myself.”

When to say it: Anytime

This is pretty much the catch-all arrogant wise-ass phrase to use whenever you do something worthy of congratulation. And if you consider yourself an arrogant wise-ass, then everything you do is worthy of congratulation.


9. “Here’s where the fun begins.”

When to say it: When you’re about to enter a dangerous situation

The purposes of this quote are twofold: firstly, it gives a greater sense of gravitas to whatever situation you are about to undertake. Even if it’s something as simple as getting called to your boss’s office, or taking an off-road shortcut on the way home, this quote alone will make the event seem much more dramatic and cool. Secondly, having made the event seem much cooler and more dangerous than it actually is, this quote will make the speaker seem that much more skilled, self-assured and bad-ass in the context of the event.


10. “Yeah, I’ll bet you have.”

When to say it: When an intergalactic bounty hunter tells you he’s been waiting a long time to bring you in

But after you say it, MAKE SURE TO SHOOT FIRST. Even if you somehow manage to “dodge” his blaster shot and return fire in self-defense, it will look nowherenear as cool as if you’d just taken the initiative and blasted the sonofabitch before he knew what hit him. Honestly, what kind of moron would even considernot having Han shoot first?


(taken from fuckyeahhansolo.tumblr.com)

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